Mad Stacked

Hello everyone! Panzer Thirteen, your friendly neighborhood gamer here.

Yesterday, I was playing in my favourite TF2 cp_orange_x3 server, and found that the RED team (which I was conveniently on) were getting pwned so badly, that the team just couldn’t even capture a single control point.

The top three players’ point values on the BLU team were as follows: 567, 426, 400. Meanwhile, RED’s top three were: 100, 80 (me) and 56.

I was looking at this scenario and saw three things. These so called “things” may have been the reason we could not win, and careful analysis *snigger* shows that you at least need a decent strategy in order to win at TF2.

1. “yo teams are mad stacked.” I was constantly repeating this to the admins (who were on BLU) and all they did was say “lol yah,” but continued to considerably pwn the noobs. Our snipers couldn’t even kill a single person, yet their snipers stopped us completely from capping our first point.

2. “haha teamwerk ftw.” Our teamwork was so bad that we were unable to put up a decent push to take the first four steps outside our door. Meanwhile, their teamwork was so überl33t that it was as if they were pushing a very thick steel wall toward the last point and eventually capturing it.

3. “WTF NOOB U ALL SUCK” Our team was constantly bickering with each other, may it be with voicecom or through the text chat. Now, sv_alltalk was set to 0, so there is no way of telling what the other team was saying, but I can only imagine them saying “yo über me nao” or “great, keep pushing pushing pushing woot we won.”

Now, analyzing these faults in our team can show, that a decent strategy can really help a team achieve victory.

First of all, a team must actually have good players. After all, players are the root of a team, and no good players means no good team. Of course, in this situation this was completely unavoidable and we could not help it. Or perhaps the other team was just so much better that we couldn’t do much at all.

Secondly, a team must work together as a team (hence Team Fortress 2). There may be an ME in TEAM, but it is not in order of letters and there isn’t an I at all. But seriously, if a team works together as a whole and seamlessly pushes and pushes, then eventually said team will win.

Continuing my previous point, a team cannot, and should not argue if it can help it. Telling snipers “OMG u suck im getting hsed so fequently its lyk ur momma jamming me all nite” won’t help at all. No, seriously. Instead of offering harmful criticism, you can try constructive criticism and offer tips, or even offer to play the class yourself.

Lastly, this is a mistake I see in a lot of teams. Unless you are überpro and can handle any situation thrown at you, if an entire team rushes, it is not good. I see Medics rushing with their bonesaw saying “healing is for nubs, bonesaw is pro.” Although the saw has a high crit rate and can be a great back up weapon, under no circumstances should you leave a dying Pyro or Heavy just standing there crying for a medic, and getting killed while you run out there, saw drawn, getting sniped.

So all in all, while I may not be the best gaming tactician ever, try and follow my tips. you may net a victory.

Yours (as always),



~ by Panzer on February 26, 2008.

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